Chillin like a K-Villian

Many people from St. Louis who are my age, who are in Kirksville, wouldn't spend their summer here if their life depended on it.

Don't get me wrong, I love home, in fact I'm going home for a lil over a week. (Top 3 Reasons to go home: 1. Girlfriend 2. Lil Brother 3. Dogs-- fun fact!)

Honestly though, I'm not minding being away from home for a few big reasons:

1. Work

I have a job in Kirksville. A job that I particularly enjoy going to, which doesn't happen very often. Also, I like money. A LOT!

2. Friends

Some people who I'm very close with, and a few that I'm hoping to and becoming closer to, are in Kirksville. Some of these people are: Anna, Dave, Lauren, Roxxy, Matt, Heather, Kaitlynn, Laura (only june), Jackie (only July), and more who I'm sure aren't coming to the top of my head. And, Halfmann is up in Ottumwa.

3. Great Stories

HOLY CRAP! Highlight of the Month for the month of June is easily going to be the gynormous Slip 'n' Slide about 24 hours ago. It's gunna take a major bad ass stunt to outdo that one. (Facebook or ask me if you haven't heard the story yet.) IT WAS LEDGEN--- wait for it ------- and I hope you're not lactose intolerant, because the second part of that word is----DARY!!! LEDGEN-DARY!!!!

4. Alone Time.

I need it. I need to clear my head, think, and try to move on with my life, that I can't seem to keep straight.

Yeah, Kirksville this summer so far has been pretty good. I miss a lot of things about St. Louis and I miss them a helluva lot, but KV is also treating me pretty well.

If you have a legitimate, interesting, or in any way valid response, please leave it in my comments section.

~~Thought for the Day~~

(playing a board game)

1: So what do you say, will you trade cards with me?

2: Hmmmmm......I guess.......maybe.....

Me: .....cutthroat...... you'll be helping her.......cutthroat....

2:NO! NO TRADE!!!

Me: I didn't say don't trade with her, I'm just saying make it more advantageous for you!

1: I don't think she has a clue what the word "cutthroat" means...

Until next time, stay awesome.

~B,

!!@**__~~==addict==~~ __**@!!

"Baby, what's that mark on your arm?"
What? Nothing! You're crazy, leave me alone!
"Seriously what's that on your arm?"
Knock it off! Go back to what you're doing.

She saw my track marks. There was no hiding it, she saw them. So instead I react with anger, borderline violence. If I'm angry she'll stop, she'll leave me alone, she won't ask about it again. She didn't know what it was, because she has no idea that using leaves those marks on me.

Hi, my name is Barney, and I have a problem. I'm an addict. My D.O.C.? Ice. I am addicted to ice. I can't drink anything without putting ice in it, and I can't let anyone know I'm doing it. That party Saturday night? The reason my speech was slurred was not my drinking habits, it was the piece of ice I tucked in my cheek numbing my tongue. The reason I wouldn't walk away from the fridge was so I could sneak some ice out of the freezer when you turned your head.

When the Journalism instructor told us we were all going to become druggie addicts this weekend, I though to myself, "Wow, she really doesn't have much faith in us, does she?" Then she explained the class assignment. We were all to become addicted to ice cubes. Thirst and the need to drink would become our craving for our "drug" and the rule was that every time we drank something, it needed to have a cube in it... catch is, no one can know about it. We wore rubber bands with attached paper clips on our arms to signify track marks, which we wanted nobody to see, of course.

I fought with my girlfriend, I stole from work, I hid cubes in my roommate's mini-fridge, then had to sneak around behind everyone's back to get them.

Becoming an addict and living the life of hiding, sneaking, and theft was an interesting couple of days. Even when I had other things to do, all I could think of was ice. Where was I going to get more? What would I drink out of that no one would see into? What is a good enough lie to tell everyone around me?

Tell your children, say no to ice.

~~Thought for the Day~~

"You're not your job. You're not how much money you have in the bank. You're not the car you drive. You're not the contents of your wallet. You're not your f***ing khakis. You're the all-singing, all-dancing crap of the world."

~Tyler Durden, Fight Club

Until next time, stay awesome.

~B

Home Dream Home

If I could live anywhere, I'd live in a compound. The Shackelford Compound, to be exact. Permanent living quarters would be established for many family members, parents, grandparents, siblings, future children and their family. I'd also have some extra guest houses for friends who wanted to stay and visit. If you want an idea of what I'm talking about when I say "compound" Watch "The Godfather" and check out the Corleone Compound, because that's about what I'm going for.

If you have a legitimate, interesting, or in any way valid response, please leave it in my comments section.

~~Thought for the Day~~

"No regrets. That's my motto, that and 'Everybody Wang Chung tonight."

Until next time, Stay Awesome.

~B

seven days...

One day I go in for a routine checkup. Doc says, "Well B, you're awesome levels are off the chart, as per usual, but I have some bad news. Apparently, you have too much awesome in your system; too much awesome for one man to handle. It looks bad, you only have about a week to live before the awesome swells your brain beyond the point of capacity, bursting your head like a ripe melon. I mean, you'll go out with an awesome bang, but I've never seen levels as high as yours. I'm afraid there's not a whole lot I can do."

I reply, "Doc, there's got to something you can do. Never thought I'd say this, but... can you remove some of my awesome? Maybe take out my overactive awesome-glands? We could transplant them into that guy who has a pocket protector that I cheated off of in chemistry."

Doc says, "No B, I'm sorry. The operation is too risky. One wrong move and we could detonate the gland itself because it's so awesome. You're so awesome, it would blow up the whole neighborhood, turning everything solid into cold, hard cash; making all the women look beautiful and have perfect boobs; giving all the men 6-pack abs and sports cars instantaneously. I'm sorry, B, but the community just couldn't assume that kind of risk for just one life."

"Of course, Doc. I understand. Not only am I too awesome for my own good, but also for the whole city of Kirksville. Well, Doc, thank you for your time. Stay Awesome."

One week to live....

~Quit dieting.
2330 calories max/day? Forget that. The only people who will think I should have been losing weight will be my pallbearers at my funeral.

~I'd definitely spend some time in church.

Confess my sins, pray, and tell the good Lord "Thanks" for the time I had here, because I've had quite a run.He's blessed me with gratuitous gifts of awesome, and if I could do it all over, I wouldn't change a thing.

~Gotta get the whole family together one more time.

Get one last awesome family photo. Bring it in, guys, and thanks for everything.

~Class? Are you serious?

I'm already too cool for school, not to mention my flippin' head's about to make a mess all over this town from the awesome just itchin' to get out. School? Sorry Artie, but no thank you.

~Get the ole' gang together

Well, If you're gunna go out, go out with a bang, right? Carpe diem? No way! Not when you're this awesome: CARPE NOCTUM!!

~I've got some 'splainin' to do...

There are a few people I need to apologize to. Didn't give them enough time, attention, etc. Maybe I should do that now in my life... never know when you're leg might swing a little too close to the bucket... and you kick it.

B's Bucket List:

~Take Grandma to where our family is from in Italy

~See Ireland

~Stay the night in a Scottish Castle (Try to see Nessie)

~Play a game of curling

~Win a game of curling

~See a professional rugby match between each match-up of the following teams: New Zealand All Blacks, Ireland, and England
~Eat all of my favorite foods in one meal:
Toasted Ravioli, Cheese Sticks, Jalapeno Poppers, Steak, Pizza, Cheesecake, Cannoli, et al.
~Jump out of a plane
~Go back to Philmont Scout Ranch
~Score a try in rugby



If you have a legitimate, interesting, or in any way valid response, please leave it in my comments section.



~~Thought for the Day~~

:talking about a video game:
Roommate: "Don't be a f***in' hero."
Me: Why not?
Roommate: "You know what happens to heroes? They f***in' die!"

Until next time, stay awesome.

~B

It's a Bird! It's a Plane! Nope, it's just B.

Lots of people would fly if they could have any power. I've never been in a plane. My feet don't leave ground for more than a few minutes at a time. I've never flown, but I'm sure I will before too long. However, I like staying on the ground at the time being. In fact, I can't really be on water for very long either. We went deep-sea fishing when I was younger while on vacation. Once we got out far enough that I couldn't see land anymore... up came breakfast, dinner from the night before, lunch from the day before, the lining and enzymes in my stomach, the motion sickness medicine I had taken that morning, really-- everything.

No, not flight. Not for me.

X-ray vision? Well, At least I could make a good living as a radiologist working at home! Then again, radiation poisoning for myself and all my loved ones never really was for me. Also, I'm a religious man, and being able to see through clothing would simply be a temptation straight from the devil.

Nope, skip the x-rays on me.

Super strength... interesting, very interesting. Great appeal, especially if I look buff, too! I don't know about this one, though. I like rugby a whole hell of a lot. In fact, rugby is probably my favorite thing about Kirksville... not that rugby isn't anywhere else, but I'm not associated with a team anywhere else. Point is, when someone makes me angry, or I get full of adrenaline or too aggressive, I really just wanna tear the other team apart; if I could literally tear them apart... that might be a problem. I don't think our hospital has the technology to put people back together like jigsaw puzzles.

Appealing, but alas, not the power for me.

Mind reading, perhaps? I'd probably take mind reading, but only under a few conditions. There are some people who, I don't have any interest in what goes on in their heads. It would have to be one of those things I could turn off, or have to concentrate to use. If I don't get those rights, forget it. I don't want to know what everyone thinks.

How would I use this power in everyday life, though? I mean, if I was a spy or something, this would be perfect, but I'm not. I'm in Kirksville. Well, first off, I'd take a look and see if I can figure out what the hell my girlfriend is thinking. I know her better than most people, I think, but I swear I have no idea how she works. Next I'd see what's up with my roommates, because I honestly think sometimes that they have the mindset of a toddler. After this, I'd likely use my power to see into the people I work with.

I work in-home with mentally disabled citizens from the area. Some of them talk and function in social settings pretty well, and often communicate their feelings. Some others are without speech, which makes them hard to understand from time to time. I'd like to know if they understand and comprehend everything I'm saying to them, or if I'm wasting my breath. I'd like to find out if they really do like everything we think they do, and what makes them tick.

I guess I have to refine my power. Not only would I want to read minds at will, but be able to communicate telepathically. to read what they are thinking, and respond in their heads. I could really do some good. :)

On the other hand, with wanting to join the armed forces of the United States, I could do quite a bit there as well. I'm not going to get into an argument over whether what I'd be doing would be "good" or "bad," but I could effectively and silently communicate with my troops and (spy on?) the enemy as well. Telepathy and mind communication would be awesome.

If you have a legitimate, interesting, or in any way valid response, please leave it in my comments section.



~~Thought for the Day~~

"I understand that they made antiperspirant deodorant for underarms, but that's not the grossest part of the body. When is someone going to invent ass-deodorant? Like, some roll-on, anti-wetness, fresh all day long ass deodorant?"

~(Wishes to remain Anonymous)



Until next time, stay awesome.

~B

"You drive me craaaazy..." -Brittany Spears

You know what really grinds my gears?

Hypocrites.
Hypocrites grind my gears.

They talk for days about how they are so against something, be it a hard issue, or something smaller, and then they do the opposite.

I remember that when I was a child, my brother and I were fighting. My dad came out to the front lawn, as we were tearing the crap out of one another, and he threw my brother off on top of me, smack us both across the face and yelled, "WE DO NOT HIT!" Wow, dad.... good one.

My mother is a smoker, and has smoked since about she was 15. She drove the carpool of us kids home from school on the day we talked about smoking in our health/gym class. We began in on my mother about her smoker, as she puffed away, and she had one response. She took a drag from her Salem Lights 100's, turned to the back seat, wagged her fingers at us, cigarette between her first and middle fingers, and said, "Don't you kids smoke!" Wow, mom... good one.

In high school would've said, "I am a pro-life, anti-smoking, pro-second amendment, anti-gay marriage, pro-union, anti-pre-marital sex, pro-military, anti-underage drinking, Catholic Christian man, and that's how I intend to stay. I am correct, I will argue my points, I will show you where your argument is flawed, and I'll do it like a gentleman." Guess how many of those key, character-defining, issues I feel differently about, or even better, went against whilst I still argued that particular point.

Read my first blog. I hate blogging, which is evident by my weekly (or better) blogs.

In psychology, we talk about cognitive dissonance. Cognitive dissonance is essentially hypocrisy, if you ask me. If you feel a certain way, and if you're going to tell me I need to be a certain way, then why are you too good for it?

I understand that people change their minds. I understand that as new information and technology emerges, we can become more informed and more understanding, and change or minds with a more informed conscience. That's not what I'm talking about, so please don't comment and give me that as an example.

If you have a legitimate, interesting, or in any way valid response, please leave it in my comments section.

~~Thought for the Day~~

"The question is not how far. The question is do you possess the constitution, the depth of faith, to go as far is as needed?"

~Il Duce, Boondock Saints



Until next time, stay awesome.

~B

Back to the Future!

Growing up, people would always ask me, "What do you want to be when you grow up?" My response? "A kid." Parents, grandparents, and everyone else would just laugh. They probably thought it deserved a spot on 'Kids Say the Darnedest Things' (can you imagine Bill Cosby and I hanging out?), but I knew what I was saying.

I didn't mean a child, what I meant was a fun-loving, easy-going, good-natured person. I meant I wanted to be a child of God, and a child in the sense that I don't judge, I don't hate, and I love people for who they are.

I just turned 20 years old. In 2015, at 25 years old, what will I be doing? Hell if I know!

Let's narrow the scope, and then build it from there...

In the Fall, I plan to return to Truman State as a full time student, who knows what major, and (hopefully) graduate in May of 2013. I am currently trying to decide about the possibility of joining the Army ROTC at Truman, and leaning toward doing it. If that is the route I go, I'll probably go to the Army's P.A. (Physician's Assistant) school, and them owe them so many years of service.

If I don't go that route, I may get my Truman GPA up and transfer to a school in St. Louis where I can study nursing. Really, so long as I get into the medical field where I can work with people closely, I'll be happy.

In 5 years, I'll hopefully be done with school and in the work force. I'll likely be married, thinking about a family, or if I go the Army route, who knows? Maybe I'll be halfway around the world.

TO BE CONTINUED... ( In five Years)

So, if you have a legitimate, interesting, or in any way valid response, please leave it in my comments section.

~~Thought for the Day~~


"Christians need to realize that before you can try to convert someone, you need to love and accept them where they're at- for who they are. They need to learn that, like my ex-girlfriend, if you try to ram it down their throat too many times, they will leave, never talk to you again, and maybe even get a restraining order."


Until next time, stay awesome.

~B

Remember when... cuz' I sure don't

1960-1969.
So much happened. Now, in '69, when they first went to the moon, I'd argue that lots of people had been "going to the moon" that decade, if you catch my drift. There's a reason people say, "If you're old enough to remember the sixties, you don't remember the sixties." My brother belonged in the sixties, he's kind of a hippie. Unfortunately for myself and both of my siblings, we are not old enough to remember the sixties, and do not.

The 1970's, now that's where I belonged. I love the culture of America in the seventies. I should have been born back then, because that's what I love... I was not born in the 70's. I do not remember the seventies. I missed the seventies.

Now, the 80's, my brother was born in the 80's. Another great time in America! Great movies, great hairstyles, great music, who wouldn't love the 80's? There's a movie coming out called "Hot Tub Time Machine" (I know, some intelligent beings coming up with these screenplays, right?) where these fellas are hanging out in a hot tub in 2010, fall asleep, and wake up in 1987, or so. Looks funny, no Grammy for plot line, but probably funny. I digress.

What a time. Remember the 80's? I do not remember the 80's. I barely missed the 80's... I was made in the 80's!

February 27th, 1990. That's when I was born. Barely missed the 80's, just seeing how the 1990's were going to line up.

The week I was born, the #1 song was "Opposites Attract" as a duet by Paula Abdul and The Wild Pair. "Bust a Move" by Young MC had been on the Top 100 chart for 39 straight weeks, "The Bradys" failed 'Brady Bunch' spin-off had just started, and "America's Funniest Home Videos" was only about 6 weeks old.

"Home Improvement" wouldn't start for another year and a half, and "Full House" was 2 1/2 years old, and would run for another 5 seasons. 1990 was a good year. The 90's were a good time. The internet-- if you're reading this, you are probably familiar with the internet, which got very popular in the 90's.

In 1990, the 49's won the Super Bowl, The Cincinnati Reds swept the Oakland Athletics in the World Series, and strangely, there were no Winter Olympics held in 1990.

The culture of the time has had a huge effect on me. My parents emerged me in the culture, from Sesame Street, and my personal favorite, Thomas the Tank Engine, to my favorite childhood movie, The Jungle Book. We had cable, so I watched the child's network Nickelodeon religiously, and the radio was always on the pop culture stations, simply because my mother had just had her second child, and was trying to "stay young."

All in all, I'm glad with when I was born, because I've enjoyed my time here on earth. Thanks, America for all the changes and chances you've given me thus far.

If you have a legitimate, interesting, or in any way valid response, please leave it in my comments section.

~~Thought for the Day~~


Vegan: "I just don't have the strength to block out the screams in my conscience telling me that eating meat is murder."

Guy: "That's because you need more protein."


Until next time, stay awesome.

~B

Journalism 101, DAMMIT!!

"WE NEED JOURNALISM!!! Now that we have it, we're gon' show main what we got. They don't care none 'bout us all'th way up here in B.F.E. Kirksville, Missou-rah

Deadlines MUST be met on time, we WILL be published in the Kirksville Daily, and we BETTER DAMN WELL get into the Greyhound Express, or by gawd, I'ma be madder 'an a hen passing a goose egg."


Now, I'm not going to say who this sounds like, but all my Journalism people know who it is, I'm sure of it.

This class, Journalism 101 at Moberly Area Community College- Kirksville Higher Education Center, is a pet project for a few instructor/educator/faculty member/staff member/administrators (don't want to give it away), and they will have absolutely nobody stand in their way to have it.

These folks, I've got two in mind, are excited to have this class, but "excited" is not even close to the right word. These folks will do anything to get you a story because they like it. They are looking for students who are just as "excited" about the news as they are.

Most students, however, want a class that maximizes interest, while minimizing workload. Now, I'm sure there are a few who are outside the realm of this "Lazy Scale," but most people will not share the same fiery passion as the ones who got it going. The ones who started the program. The one whose "baby" the class is, and always will be.

These things always happen. The best way to deal with this issue is to just wait it out. By this, of course, I mean that after these folks are gone, the class will level out. Sure, it will still be some work... but once the "mother hen" is out of the coop, things will calm down. Personally, I can't wait until these two folks leave, because I can't hardly stand either one of 'em!

Just kidding Jean Sherer and Artie Fowler, we all love you and appreciate your enthusiasm.

So, if you have a legitimate, interesting, or in any way valid response, please leave it in my comments section.

~~Thought for the Day~~

"How long does our essay have to be?"

"A good essay is like a young gal's skirt...

long enough to cover the subject, but short enough to keep things interesting."


Until next time, stay awesome.

~B

The asian woman behind the wheel, watermelon and fried chicken, and the ditzy, drunkard blonde chick...the continuation...

...but I have never heard of "Black Independence Day." Is it celebrated? What is the accepted date? Why not celebrate "American" Independence Day as well? Aren't you an American?

In any case, how we identify with groups, and who we choose to identify with are very interesting and important to get into. Aside from those topics, the idea that we are put into certain groups by others is also interesting, especially when they are incorrect, which they often are.

So, if you have a legitimate, interesting, or in any way valid response, please leave it in my comments section. (or if you have an alternative and non-offensive word to substitute for "African-American")


~~Thought for the Day~~


"I'd rather be a crying pussy than some faggy goth kid." -Butters Scotch from South Park


Until next time, stay awesome!

The asian woman behind the wheel, watermelon and fried chicken, and the ditzy, drunkard blonde chick

Today in the social psych class, we discussed stereotypes, could you tell?

There is one young, black man in my psych class. Within the context of the class, in order to show that stereotypes are often incorrect, the instructor asked him if on the Fourth of July, his family gathers to dance and eat watermelon and fried chicken. He simply answered, no.

He was not upset by any means, but after class he said something very interesting that I have never considered. He said that when the Declaration of Independence was signed, back in 1776, it specifically did not include, but rather discounted, black slaves at the time. It was specifically noted that the black slaves would not be included, and in fact, the blacks were not officially liberated until the 60's, according to my instructor.

The interesting part was that he said his family does not celebrate the 4th of July, since their ancestors were not liberated on that date.

This is something I had never considered... I'll get back to that.

"German-Americans"- Nationally German people who emigrate to the United States.
"Italian-Americans"- People from Italy who then come to America.
"African-Americans"- black people, typically people whose ancestors are from Africa.
"Caucasians"- white people, typically people whose ancestors are from Europe.

Hmmmm? Okay, let's take a look at this now. My ancestors are from Italy, Germany, and Ireland, primarily. I am not an Italian-German-Irish-American. Hell, I'm not even a European-American. I'm a Caucasian. I'm an American. I'm white.

I understand if we're not comfortable with colors. "White people" "Black people" "Brown people" "Yellow people" Red people" et cetera. Let's come up with a socially acceptable word, that is also accurate. "African-American" is not accurate.

Okay, back to Independence Day.

Now, if we, the people born in America, are "American," then it is all of our freedom that we celebrate. I understand wanting to identify with your heritage, for instance, I make a big deal out of St. Paddy's Day because part of my lineage is Irish....

More to follow... have to go to class

Ouch!

Today in a psychology class, my instructor had an awesome, unethical idea to take one kid and make him look really smart; then take another kid, and make him look like an "idjut."

Here's the details.

I was running late to class, so when I came rushing into the building, she pulled me aside in the hallway where she had been standing, and fed me the plan. She told me to think of 5 questions which were general knowledge, or really anything that is not personal information about me. However, the catch was that they were supposed to be impossibly tough questions.

Just before the class ended, the instructor made it seem that this was not set up, by asking for a volunteer to be quiz master, so I played along like it sounded interesting but had no idea what was going on. She picked another guy in our class whom she had had before and knew would not take it personally to be the guinea pig.

We stepped to the front of the class and she instructed me to ask him 5 questions of common knowledge, not stating a difficulty level. I asked my questions, which he had 10 seconds each to answer, and got zero correct.

The idea of the exercise was to then have everyone take a survey asking how smart they thought each of us two volunteers were. Well, it worked. General consensus was that what I had considered general knowledge was way out of his league, making me look pretty smart. After we talked about our scores, our instructor told everyone that it was a set-up and it was supposed to be hard and letting them in on our scam.

What she did not tell everyone was that I had really just thought of the questions off of the top of my head sitting in class. I did not use the internet to come up with these, I did not look up any answers or call anyone, and they all came off the top of my head. What she did not tell them was...


I'M AWESOME!

Now, I do not mean to boast, but this dude had no idea on any of these questions. When's the last time you stumped the average college student?

In any case, I thought the exercise was interesting and I just wanted to tell my story.


Also, if you're interested, here's the questions I asked:
(See if you can answer them without looking them up)

What is the capital of Nepal?
How many points is a "try" worth in rugby?
What was the first make of car manufactured?
In what year was the state of Missouri admitted to the Union?
Which state is the only to have another state's entire name contained within it?


How many do you think you got correct?

Okay, here's the answers:

#1-Kathmandu is the capital of Nepal (I had a Nepalese roommate freshman year)
#2-A rugby union try is worth 5 points (they're worth four in rugby league, but he did not know a thing about rugby anyhow)
#3-Volkswagen (not correct, technically I did not specify a steam engine, an electric, or an internal combustion engine, but it does not matter because I purposely did not say first mass produced-- and he said Ford and played right into my hands.)
#4-1820 (Compromise of 1820, look it up)
#5-Arkansas (Saw it on Jeopardy! last week)


So, if you have a legitimate, interesting, or in any way valid response, please leave it in my comments section. (or your score for how many questions you got right)

~~Thought for the day~~

"How do you feel about Governor Jay Nixon?"

"I think that sum'bitch stoopid!"


Until next time, stay awesome!

1st Blog!!!

Hello, world wide interweb!
Welcome to the blog of BStinsonAwesome

My blog will deal with many different issues, from the latest episode of How I met Your Mother, to tech-savvy topics, to dumb laws, to really, whatever I want!

For this first blog, I'd like to discuss a little thing called web logging, or more commonly known as blogging. Now, my blog is for a class I'm in, but the general thought on those who blog regularly because they wish to share their thoughts with the world via blog, is who cares!!

Honestly, if you aren't Mahatma Gandhi, President Obama, or hell, even Ralph Nader, really just anyone much more important than who you really are, why should anyone really care what you think?

So, if you have a legitimate, interesting, or in any way valid response, please leave it in my comments section.

~~Thought for the day~~

I suppose I should thank you for reading, but honestly, do the gods thank man for their praise and sacrifices?

Until next time, stay awesome!